The Power of Communication

So tonight Noah went down to bed easier than he has in probably the past few weeks. THANK GOODNESS! But that victory does not come without many tears (sometimes I am not sure who is doing the crying Noah or I) over the past few weeks. I am not sure what gets into him, he does great all day and then right as we go to do that last night feeding before sleep he just screams and cries and often then he leaves me and him in tears.

That is just one of the many sad crying faces I seem to get from my son on a normal basis at night. Last night was one of those nights.; he had eaten a bunch that day and that should have been my first clue to what was going on. But it was not, Mommy is just not that smart sometimes. We get him ready for bed: Tubby (which he is all smiles for I think its his favorite part of the day!), lotion. diaper, pj's, and then feeding he starts eating and BAM it starts the screaming crying and full blown melt down. Now by this time I am used to what is going on, my little man is sometimes lazy at night and can not stand to work for food when he is tired at night. So being the "smart" mom I am I let him cry and then try to make him eat. This goes on for what seems like forever but probably was only 15 minutes of him screaming and screaming at me growing louder and louder as Mommy tries to get him to eat. In a final effort to get him to calm down (in my mind so he can eat some more) I give him his foofie.... and within minutes silence.... he has fallen asleep. I let him sit there on my lap for a few more minutes and then more him to his bed. He was so tired that he got to bed and didn't even want his foofie anymore. He wasn't hungry.

Those events brought me to tears and got me thinking, what kind of mom am I that can't even figure out what my little man is trying to tell me. Communication such an amazing and powerful thing when you think about it we rely so much on many different forms, yet often our intentions, actions, and words are often not understood. I as a mother should be able to understand what is going on with my child. I should be able to understand him yet often I am left confused, discouraged, and frustrated. I praise God that He is not like that with me. I think about all the times I am screaming, crying and fussing to him about some "major" crisis in my life, unlike this mommy, He as a father gets it. He gets me, He understands me, and unlike me he does not get confused, discouraged, or frustrated when I start to yell and complain.  As I finish up this post I am reminded of this passage:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. " -Jeremiah 29:11-13

Oh how lucky we are!

...maybe lucky is not the right word, blessed sounds much better now that I think about this topic. My little family has been so blessed with a BIG caring family.  From the moment we found out we were expecting out little "jelly bean" or "LB" as we called Noah before we knew he was Noah, our families have been the most encouraging and loving family we could ever have asked for. Many of them taking time out of there busy scheduale to come along side of us (either close by or far away) and help us on our journey.

The blessing of family has never been so clear to me then over the past two months of my Little man's life (can you believe its been 2 months already! I can't!). It first started with Ben's mom and dad. Let me just say that I am sooooooo thankful for both of them and the support and love they have given us. And especially me, I joke with Ben's mom that she was my idol durring the 9 months Noah was inside of me. Countless phone calls were made about whats "normal" what to expect and what Noah was doing inside of me at that moment. But that does not even come close to the sacrifice they made to come to Texas and help Ben and I transition into parenthood; for that I am truly greatful! She walked with me for hours trying to get this little man to come out. She stayed for weeks just waiting with us, as I stated before our little man was a stubborn child! Then she was there and helped encourage me as I labored Noah into this world, and learned to take care of the little man all on our own. And Ben's dad sacrificailly let us keep her for all that time even though he was missing her! Thank you.

 

The past two weeks I have been reminded of how lucky we are to have family around with my Grammy flying in to spend the holidays with Noah, Ben, and I. What fun that was. I got to watch as Noah and Grammy got to know each other and it was so much fun. But more than that, she was a huge help and a releif, she loved and cared for Noah, and even let mommy and daddy go out on a date or two together! It was a great reminder of how much we need and want family around. We can not wait for that day!

     

There have been countless other family members that have helped in so many ways but these two women stick out the most in my mind this morning. I have had to watch both of them leave us and its been so hard. But I know soon enough we will be with them again and have the joy of seeing them with our little man. (Who I add misses them both teribly!!)

Thank you!

All good things must come to an end... For now.

I am writing this morning with a very heavy heart. Today I start work again, don't get me wrong I like my job, I work with some of the best people, my boss has been completely amazing during my pregnancy and also while I took some time to stay home with my little man. But that does not make this day any easier, I have been dreading this afternoon for weeks and crying at night for days. There is one thing I have to keep reminding myself of.....

I serve a Sovereign God, who knows my heart, sees my desire and loves my Little Man more than I ever could.

What more could a mommy ask for? I am leaving my baby is the best hands I know of... his 2 Fathers: God and Ben! How lucky could this boy be. I find comfort in knowing God has appointed this for us for just a short season. The end is in sight and I praise Him for that daily! 4 months.... 4 months till Ben graduates and we start the next phases in our lives. Lots to still be decided about what the after graduation lives will be. But there is a promise that soon I will be home with my little man teaching him, playing with him, snuggling him, and loving on him.

That is where my heart is, when I was in college I did not think I would ever get to that point but watching my little man discover new things has been so amazing. Who would have ever thought you could love someone so much in so short amount of time.

So pray for us today:

Pray for me: As I go back to work this afternoon and my heart is really not in it. I will miss my little man! He is being taken care of by his wonderful Daddy, but that does not help this Mommy miss him any less. Pray I can find joy in what I am doing.

Pray for Ben: As today as he has the challenge of taking care of Noah without us tag teaming. Pray he can stay patient and not become overwhelmed by all the needs this little man has. And also that this time with Noah would be a special time for the two of them to bond.

Pray for Noah: As he learns to adjust to all these changes (he does not like lots of changes). That he would have a good day today and not be to overwhelming for his daddy.