I am writing this morning with a very heavy heart. Today I start work again, don't get me wrong I like my job, I work with some of the best people, my boss has been completely amazing during my pregnancy and also while I took some time to stay home with my little man. But that does not make this day any easier, I have been dreading this afternoon for weeks and crying at night for days. There is one thing I have to keep reminding myself of.....
I serve a Sovereign God, who knows my heart, sees my desire and loves my Little Man more than I ever could.
What more could a mommy ask for? I am leaving my baby is the best hands I know of... his 2 Fathers: God and Ben! How lucky could this boy be. I find comfort in knowing God has appointed this for us for just a short season. The end is in sight and I praise Him for that daily! 4 months.... 4 months till Ben graduates and we start the next phases in our lives. Lots to still be decided about what the after graduation lives will be. But there is a promise that soon I will be home with my little man teaching him, playing with him, snuggling him, and loving on him.
That is where my heart is, when I was in college I did not think I would ever get to that point but watching my little man discover new things has been so amazing. Who would have ever thought you could love someone so much in so short amount of time.
So pray for us today:
Pray for me: As I go back to work this afternoon and my heart is really not in it. I will miss my little man! He is being taken care of by his wonderful Daddy, but that does not help this Mommy miss him any less. Pray I can find joy in what I am doing.
Pray for Ben: As today as he has the challenge of taking care of Noah without us tag teaming. Pray he can stay patient and not become overwhelmed by all the needs this little man has. And also that this time with Noah would be a special time for the two of them to bond.
Pray for Noah: As he learns to adjust to all these changes (he does not like lots of changes). That he would have a good day today and not be to overwhelming for his daddy.
Praying for all of you...and now you have me crying! I'd hop a plane and take care of him the next four months if I could...you know I would! This is just one step in the trusting God with your children journey you are on the rest of your life. Even with you kids being older I cry at night and have to continually give you over to God...He knows what is best for your journey and trusting Him is the best decision I can make ... over and over and over. lol I'm a slow learner... :P
ReplyDeleteI will be praying for you too! I know exactly what you are going through. I had to go back to work for about 3 months and it was SOOOO hard! My mom watched Anna but it was still hard! Like you, I could see the end too but it is still difficult. On the flip side, isn't it a wonderful feeling that God gave us women to yearn to be with our children and care for them. It truely is wonderful to be a mother!!!!! Those 4 months will go by so quickly that you will hardly remember being away from Noah. : )
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